I regret following Doctor Who posts on Tumblr. I haven't seen the 50th anniversary yet. Shut up tumblr I get it!!! 

Ah, seems I haven't been on here for a while. I apologize for that. It's been crazy this month as I am participating in National Novel Writing Month, so I've been highly focused on my novel. What's it about? Well that's a secret. 

Either way I hope all you readers are having a good November and have a wonderful Thanksgiving if you celebrate it.

Broken

Today ends the thriving crush I had. I found out he has another special to him, so I have no hope. It was my first real crush and I enjoyed everything that came with it, confusing as it may have been. The pain is not something I've ever experienced before. Physical pain I can handle, deep emotional pain, not so much. I have to be careful who I talk to, for it not to reach his ears. 

The worst is that we're friends, good friends at that. I don't want to mess that up, but I know it'll hurt when I see him again. I know I'll see him holding that girls hand, laughing happily with her, caring for her. 

I don't know how to get over it and it's only hurting more. I don't think I can drown my sorrows in ice cream and sweets. I need help. I need to forget. To move on. To heal my broken heart. 

Broken record

A broken record plucks at my heart strings. 

Digging up guilt and unwanted memories. 

It pushes past the barricades I've put up to protect myself.

To help myself forget.

Forget how broken my world is. How different I am from the world around me. How my smile is only a mask to fool others, and myself. How much I want to cry, to disappear. 

Round and round the record spins, sending me deeper and deeper into the depths of dispear. 

Someone save me. Stop the record and shine a saving light on my degrading soul.